Fatherhood

1am followed by 3am, and even again at 6am, is the cause of my blood shot eyes,
Hence why I’m looking for the button to snooze this human alarm.
All I hear is screaming sirens, did somebody get stabbed or was it firearms
That was shot; which got me out of my bed, saying “shush,” because I’m so tired
But there’s still a continuation of sniffles and I realise that all he wants is to be coated by my forearm
He don’t like to sleep alone, so to keep him warm, the duvet over him is now my underarm.
I don’t understand the baby talk mixed with the winging, whines and cries
Maybe he’s having a nightmare and what he wants from me is to protect him from harm.

This probably doesn’t flow on from the last stanza but I’ve been asked to use my wrist and let the ink flow on parenthood
But I’m questioning how I can write on something that I’ve never understood.
It’s not like my father weren’t there or isn’t here to let me know what should be done
But I’m still in a state of shock, Ben and Jerry’s frozen, like I’m about to be knocked over by a truck
And I don’t know how to prevent it or what could be done.
I’m trying my best to do what’s good.
What really helps is that I have a few brothers in the same struggle as me,
And I don’t know, what I’d do without my brotherhood.
Probably could say the same for little man, don’t know what he’d do or how he’d turnout without fatherhood.

 

 

Psycho genetics in my bloodstream

A fiend to hear her screams…

Hold on sorry I was referring to my last nightmare or was it a dream

The anomaly of this piece excretes

Like the acronym MRS NERG

Officially a preschool nerd

As I refer to way back when

Still a virgin to conspiracies, convictions and needing to be a social addition.

So 10 years down the line I had my own addition to extend my legacy.

As I look upon her, I want our relationship to have longevity, to remember the memories.

As we sit over a cup of tea.

And I held my promise and said I’d never leave.

But once I thought…

This may be the last time I see you for a while. I’m not capable,
Of being that figure in your life
I don’t know when I’ll be, in all honesty,

My mum was right, I am still a kid
Don’t get me wrong I love you and I’m not a part-time figure, but the pain I’d cause is more than one should bare.

You’d probably be thinking

“You don’t care, You should have stayed, endured… I was willing to share”
But, was I?
I’ve never been good at this father stuff.
Never known what it was
Cause my father never was,
So will this cycle ever cease
I pray Lord, that it will, please
I’d go down on my face
Forget my knees,
I’ve never been worthy to be
Your father…

Dele “Delewrites” Osunsami and Deji “DWordChef” Babatunde 01.01.2012